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Do you like Trick-or-Treating?
Dressing up and sweetie-eating?
Knocking on doors and saying ‘Boo!’
Well, here’s something else that you could do
Get out your pots and pans to make
A gross and gruesome Halloween cake!

First, mix together in a bowl
A squirmy frog and a small tadpole
A pinch of pickings from your nose
Then scabs from both knees and elbows
If you want a special treat
Use toenail clippings from smelly feet

If you like to chew and munch
Add smashed up snails for extra crunch
Pour in some water from the toilet
Stir it well, then start to boil it
One at a time, add sixteen worms
Until the mixture’s nice and firm

Sprinkle in some big fat flies
And twenty spiders of various size
Bake in an oven for one whole day
Until the cake is sludgy grey
Use dog-slobber and slug-slime icing
To make it look extra enticing

Spread on mud from under your sandals
And decorate with earwax candles
Eyeballs, and a dandruff sprinkle
Will make it shine, glitter and twinkle
Serve it up with chocolate lice
Then everyone will want a slice!

By Juli Frances Taylor